A Letter to Me
Dear Myself,
It has been long since I took out some time to talk with you. You have been the crux of my life or rather that thing, without which my life won't be having a meaning. It would sound crazy enough; to be found talking with oneself in the society we live in, but no one can aver the sanity of this society either. We live in a world where we are rushing to catch some or the other thing – A never on time train to the office; A job that promises livelihood but not the life we want; A company of people without their affection, just to avoid being discarded as a loner; A slipping away mind in the cacophony of the society we live in; Our breath in the hustle of thriving human race; and lastly things which we really want in life – our dreams.
I have tried to contact you several times but failed to establish a connection due to the endless hurricanes in life. Every time I closed my eyes and tried to initiate a conversation with you, reminders about the trifle chores of daily life disrupted my train of thoughts leading to you. Until I finally got a break from this monotonous life, when the Doctor declared me unfit to carry out those daily chores I talked about earlier and advised me to lie on a bed. It was some kind of flu that had gripped me; which gave me an opportunity to communicate with you in a traditional manner, through this letter.
Its often during such times when we lose something do we realise it's actual worth. Life – Just like my fellow human race members, has always been a mystery to me. The more I tried to interpret it, unravel and find its meaning, its purpose; the more enigmatic it became, like a ball of wool. I have been sick before but this time it felt like I would finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's not like I was waiting eagerly for my death earlier but to confide in you, there had been times when I just wished it all to be over. However I felt a deep sting when I realized that I won't be able to share some essential things which I had wanted to tell you since a very long time. After all you deserve to know everything as you have been there with me all this time.
First of all I apologize you for all those times when I blamed and criticized you, for all the problems in life; while you tried to motivate me and pull us out of every trouble we faced. It had always been my habit to nag you for all the problems in our life. I even made you feel sorry for things which were never your fault. I dragged you along with me into the voyage, in the sea of melancholy, and deprived you of the happiness you deserved. It was only because of my silliest choices and vices that you had to suffer a bad health – both physical and mental. I cursed you for making the wrong decisions and tried to exert the burden of not pursuing our dreams on you. But you...you have always been so patient with me. I remember the time when I had lost all the hope to live, and then you took me by my hand and led me to our mental tranquil seashore. You explained to me that life would be rough like the sea waves smashing the rocks on the shore, but there will be time for calmness like this...It is during this time you need to overlook all your plights and chart the course of your voyage.
This reminds me of some very beautiful lines said by a great human, who knew the importance of spending time with oneself – Buddha. He said,
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. Do not look for sanctuary in any one except yourself."
All the while I kept searching for answers outside, while they resided inside, with you. It took me a while to understand but I have realized your worth and with this letter, the fact that one needs to spend time with oneself to resolve all the predicaments of life. It's only with your support that I will be able to deal with the daily hurdles of life and envision the bigger picture. We will be able to achieve our dreams and find happiness when we team up together. It's only when we are able to calm the inner turmoil, we can fight the world outside. I want you to know that you are important and that without ‘you’ there would never be the ‘me’ I dream to become someday. I'm glad I could write to you and hope to do the same in the near future. I wish you luck for the future and hope to find you with a guiding torch in your hand when darkness engulfs me!
From yours loving,
Self.
~ Saurabh Kajawe
It has been long since I took out some time to talk with you. You have been the crux of my life or rather that thing, without which my life won't be having a meaning. It would sound crazy enough; to be found talking with oneself in the society we live in, but no one can aver the sanity of this society either. We live in a world where we are rushing to catch some or the other thing – A never on time train to the office; A job that promises livelihood but not the life we want; A company of people without their affection, just to avoid being discarded as a loner; A slipping away mind in the cacophony of the society we live in; Our breath in the hustle of thriving human race; and lastly things which we really want in life – our dreams.
I have tried to contact you several times but failed to establish a connection due to the endless hurricanes in life. Every time I closed my eyes and tried to initiate a conversation with you, reminders about the trifle chores of daily life disrupted my train of thoughts leading to you. Until I finally got a break from this monotonous life, when the Doctor declared me unfit to carry out those daily chores I talked about earlier and advised me to lie on a bed. It was some kind of flu that had gripped me; which gave me an opportunity to communicate with you in a traditional manner, through this letter.
Its often during such times when we lose something do we realise it's actual worth. Life – Just like my fellow human race members, has always been a mystery to me. The more I tried to interpret it, unravel and find its meaning, its purpose; the more enigmatic it became, like a ball of wool. I have been sick before but this time it felt like I would finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's not like I was waiting eagerly for my death earlier but to confide in you, there had been times when I just wished it all to be over. However I felt a deep sting when I realized that I won't be able to share some essential things which I had wanted to tell you since a very long time. After all you deserve to know everything as you have been there with me all this time.
First of all I apologize you for all those times when I blamed and criticized you, for all the problems in life; while you tried to motivate me and pull us out of every trouble we faced. It had always been my habit to nag you for all the problems in our life. I even made you feel sorry for things which were never your fault. I dragged you along with me into the voyage, in the sea of melancholy, and deprived you of the happiness you deserved. It was only because of my silliest choices and vices that you had to suffer a bad health – both physical and mental. I cursed you for making the wrong decisions and tried to exert the burden of not pursuing our dreams on you. But you...you have always been so patient with me. I remember the time when I had lost all the hope to live, and then you took me by my hand and led me to our mental tranquil seashore. You explained to me that life would be rough like the sea waves smashing the rocks on the shore, but there will be time for calmness like this...It is during this time you need to overlook all your plights and chart the course of your voyage.
This reminds me of some very beautiful lines said by a great human, who knew the importance of spending time with oneself – Buddha. He said,
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. Do not look for sanctuary in any one except yourself."
All the while I kept searching for answers outside, while they resided inside, with you. It took me a while to understand but I have realized your worth and with this letter, the fact that one needs to spend time with oneself to resolve all the predicaments of life. It's only with your support that I will be able to deal with the daily hurdles of life and envision the bigger picture. We will be able to achieve our dreams and find happiness when we team up together. It's only when we are able to calm the inner turmoil, we can fight the world outside. I want you to know that you are important and that without ‘you’ there would never be the ‘me’ I dream to become someday. I'm glad I could write to you and hope to do the same in the near future. I wish you luck for the future and hope to find you with a guiding torch in your hand when darkness engulfs me!
From yours loving,
Self.
~ Saurabh Kajawe
👍🏽✌🏽
ReplyDelete